a running list of media i've consumed that have either made a profound impact in my life, or simply just linger in my head. they form a good basis of understanding me as a person!
- jazz for cows: this is one of my favorite videos of all time - enough for it to be an adjective on how i'm feeling. on great, bright, happy, and relaxed days, i feel like jazz for cows.
- a mathematician's lament: i often tell people that in 80% of my other timelines, i would be a pure mathematics major. i don't harbour regretful feelings re: my university major as it would not have made a difference in the trajectory of my life [ie. starting peko meant i skipped 75% of my classes lol]. but, i do have a fervent itch that is only satiated by mathematics. it's embarassing to admit, but if you've ever seen me beyond standard inebriation, there is a non-zero chance that i would have been watching the 2006 mit integration bee, attempting the questions myself, or watching a 3blue1brown video and shoving my phone in other people's faces. however, this passion for math only occurred to me in my first semester of university after spending 4 hours in burnside, conjecturing a feasible solution to a teaser question sidney trudeau left on the blackboard of my math 180 classroom.
in this fever dream of a 25-page essay/critique, lockhart captures how my public education pre-university failed to truly show me the essence of math; that is, mathematics is an art form. it dances and it is malleable to your own axioms. lockhart puts it brilliantly: "there is nothing as dreamy and poetic, nothing as radical, subversive, and psychedelic, as mathematics". that is so frickin true!!!!
i do believe that the way math is currently taught is fundamentally flawed. this critique dives into it much more eloquently than i could ever, but one of my core values that serve as my guiding principles include: "how can i make sure my children are not failed by anything beyond my control?" the way that lockhart describes the ideal way of teaching math isn't (imo) feasible in our modern-day educational institutions, but i do think that it's possible to cultivate his philosophy via *correctly* nurturing curiosity from an early age.
how can i most adequately get my kids to look beyond the face value of what is handed to them? to endlessly question the purpose and relevance of set curriculums? to ponder and seek answers themselves? better yet, how can i create an environment where they want to collaborate with trusted friends (me!) to find self-satisfying solutions?
these are questions i have yet to even solve for my own self. i leave this as a proof to the reader (but if you figure it out, let me know.)
- flowers for algernon [the full novel, but i'm certain the shorter story is good too]: it is hard to put my feelings of this story into words. i am lucky to have my simple life full of those who love me. although i always yearn for more, i lost my breath reading the last entries of the book and just convulsively sobbed. you are just engulfed into charlie's life and you know what is coming and we simply must accept reality. not so fun fact: i read this in two sittings (half before bed, then continued right when i woke up). here is a glimpse of my terrible, terrible search history:
one of my favourite quotes: I see now that the path I choose through that maze makes me what I am. I am not only a thing, but also a way of being-one of many ways-and knowing the paths I have followed and the ones left to take will help me understand what I am becoming.
