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24072023 - boredom / got a new best friend

now that sang and i have become more friends than co-founders, i look forward to our little roomie chats where we talk about our feelings while i periodically interject to critique her cooking skills. today, she almost drained all of her pasta water down the sink and she also somehow burned her pasta while boiling it. i didn't realize that was possible!

tonight we talked about boredom. sang expressed that she doesn't remember the last time she has felt so bored; perhaps middle school? we no longer have school, or a startup to run, but rather good-enough work and an abundance of time on our hands. we both made a goal to focus on hobby-building with these newfound hours and i recall sharing this sentiment with many others in a similar period of life. so many of my friends have graduated with no post-grad job waiting on the other side. some of my friends are mindfully carving out their calendars to become more interesting or to find fulfilment outside of career. rightfully so…, and yet i saw a tweet the other day that perfectly encapsulates my feelings around this: every bro is a type of guy. and while it is quite silly to dissect these meaningless, simple words, i will. we fall into a trap of believing that finding our hobbies will define the person we are and while there is some truth in this [we unconsciously surround ourselves with people with similar interests, differential association invokes us to kickstart chicken tender mafias, et cetera], i think that part of this exercise of filling the time should instead become proficient at being bored.

in preparation for my summer of time, i wrote a list of specific tasks i wanted to accomplish to keep myself sane. i haven't had an absence of work since, well, middle school, and i was not looking forward to the days passing me by with nothing to keep my thumbs busy. i slowly began checking things off. i finally got my full drivers license! i've hit the gym almost daily! today, i ran 3km on the greenway without a single break! in many ways, life has felt like a series of side quests that i have left for after defeating the main boss. however, instead of quick-travelling to these sites, i'm walking (& not running) by foot and taking in the views that some extremely passionate VFX artist put thousands of hours into.

by the way of conversation, i exclaimed i can't wait to do nothing tomorrow and i meant it. tomorrow, i will wake up and i will call a friend, go for a run, and then sit in bed and maybe tinker on little projects with my brain at 20% utilization. i'll make a cup of tea, blast slow music, and life will not feel silent. in my 21st summer, i have finally mastered the art of being good at boredom. i am a maestro of empty but fulfilling days, the personified antonym of carpe diem, and a lover of small, meaningless moments of vacancy.

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