“No other fruit unites the fine qualities of all fruits as does the apple. For one thing, its skin is so clean when you touch it that instead of staining the hands it perfumes them. Its taste sweet and it is extremely delightful both to smell and to look at. Thus by charming all our senses at once, it deserves the praise it receives." - PLUTARCH, Moralia. Table-Talk

Apple Ratings:

Apple Ratings (Northeast U.S Corridor Edition)

Preamble: Before we delve into our apple reviews (Northeast U.S Corridor Edition), I’d like to share this quote from my dear friend Johnny: “You’re either a Flavour Fiend or a Texture Tot.”

There is an important distinction between being a Flavour Fiend or a Texture Tot when it comes to the art of apple reviewing. You’ll notice large deltas between our ratings due to this distinction. A Flavour Fiend Apple Taster (eg: Arielle) values unique, pure flavours over the mouthfeel when reviewing an apple specimen. This is not to say that she disregards texture. Rather, when selecting an apple, there is no consideration around how she chooses to consume it. She rates apples knowing she has the capability and the willingness to transform this apple in circumstance; to bite into it or metamorphose it into a delectable pie, an addition to a marinade, a sauce, a dish of one’s own. Hence, texture is nihil ad rem.

A Texture Tot Apple Taster (eg: Johnny, Jack, Sammy, Owen) prioritizes the texture of the apple as a treat and then secondly considers the taste. Variance between individuals includes their jaw strength, general preferences on crispness/softness, and one’s partiality to the after notes of “mealiness”; mouthfeel sensations in regards to apple rheology. Again, this does not imply that they are not concerned with flavour. In fact, it is arguable that Tater Tot Apple Tasters inherently value the experience of eating an apple. In avid description of an apple, Owen discusses how specific Apples would be good “Trail Apples”, “Backpack Apples”, and the juiciness of an apple is not perceived as a flavour enhancer but rather an experience diminisher; “Your hands will get sticky.” Utility of an apple is typically of importance for Texture Tots.

“You need to commit to eating an apple as an experience. You need to let it take over your world for 15 minutes then wash your hands after.” - Sammy, circa Oct 2023.

The Honeycrisp Apple was set to be the 7.5/10 as a baseline. Let’s begin!

William’s Pride Apple:

Arielle: soft flesh, delicious sweetness, skin is easy to bite into but still chewy. Beautiful color that bleeds into the flesh which is incredible. Extremely juicy. This is an incredible apple. This would be insane in an apple pie. Not much of a snack. Dare I say this is another 9.5/10 - extremely deep and in depth flavour, not your typical apple and I would go out of my way to try this if you haven’t.
Jack: Complex flavor that has notes of grape in it, more sour than I expected for a red apple but that is good, skin was delightfully crisp but the meat was more meally than is generally appreciated. 7/10.
Sammy: Kinda Tart On the softer/mealier side but I don’t mind it (usually do). Has the slight taste of fall air. Sweet at the end but not overwhelming. Juicy, so it makes the softness airy and light rather than too nasty. Really solid and surprising - 7/10
Owen: soft flesh, pleasant. firm, nearly leathery skin. flavor is sweet forward, a bit dry, somewhat complex notes but hard to place. color was fantastic. 6.5/10.
Johnny: Branding/Lore: 5/10, Visuals 8/10, Smell 2/10, Skin 3/10, Flavour 6/10, Crispness 4/10, Juiciness 8/10, No qualitative notes. Total 36/70.

Jonagold Apple:

Arielle: a lot crispier - there is a sweet AND sour element (but not tart!) to this apple which makes it particularly interesting. The skin is also quite light, but this is pretty average all things considered - I wouldn’t go out of my way but it’s still good! 7.5/10
Jack: Good flavor well balanced between sweet and sour, extremely good texture. 9/10
Sammy: Tart. Texture is a little softer than I’d like but ok and the juice leaves my mouth a little chalky. Sweet at the end. 5.5/10
Owen: sour, tang, good in thins but not snacking. reminds me of the granny Smith(?) green ones. great visuals. skin is also firm but as much as Williams. skin holds up well. 6/10
Johnny: Branding/Lore: /10, Visuals 8/10, Smell 7/10, Skin 5/10, Flavour 6/10, Crispness 7/10, Juiciness 5/10, No qualitative notes. Total 44/70.

20 Ounce Apple:

Arielle: this tastes like a cinnamon apple-apple. What the hell. There is a spice to this that. Soft but still crisp flesh, a warm aftertaste where there are particles of the flesh that linger… what an impressive apple for a pie. I think this would be great! Very mealy. 9/10
Jack: Sweeter than I generally prefer with sub par texture. 6/10
Sammy: Oh absolutely not. Mealy. Tart in the wrong way, not enough sweetness. Like 3/10
Owen: HUGE sometime and can be strawberry shapes!! applesauce-y, dull flavor sour forward. liked this skin more. skin and flesh aren't as firmly attached 6.5/10 “It screamed fall in the way that leaves fall off, and not the leaves turning red. It’s fall. It’s not autumn.”
Johnny: Branding/Lore: 9/10, Visuals 4/10, Smell 6/10, Skin 4/10, Flavour 5/10, Crispness 2/10, Juiciness 3/10, No qualitative notes. Total 33/70.

Macoun Apple:

Arielle: wow this really is just a Macintosh on steroids. It’s extremely sweet and flavourful, the epitome of an apple flavour - it smells incredible and tastes better. The flesh is firmer than a Macintosh but the after taste and feel lingers and the juice is plentiful. Dare I say this is a 10/10 apple?
Jack: A better version of a sweet apple with more complex and deep flavor, good crisp skin but the texture of the meat is lacking. 8/10
Sammy: Again don’t love the texture but more bearable than 20 ounce. Sweet and tart had a great balance. 6/10
Owen: HUGE LOVE THIS. soft, tart, sweet, pretty fantastic. lots of different notes, makes for great tasting. 9/10.
Johnny: Branding/Lore: 3/10, Visuals 8/10, Smell 7/10, Skin 9/10, Flavour 8/10, Crispness 5/10, Juiciness 5/10, Pumpkin-y smell, skin peels off like no other. Total 45/70.

Fortune Apple:

Arielle: this tastes like what fresh apple perfumes try to imitate. it is like the Marc Jacob’s daisy perfume in an apple form. Extremely crisp and delicate flavour, easy chewable skin. Not my favorite for if I’m craving a regular old apple but definitely worth a try because it is delicious in a whimsy, flowery way. 8/10
Jack: Deliciously sweet without being overpowering, moderate to good texture, making it well rounded. 8/10
Sammy: Oh yeah now we’re talking. Has that fall air taste, tart and sweet and light with a sight earthiness/grassiness. Texture approaching the crunch that I like. Juiciness not as huge as it could be but very solid. 7/10
Owen: wwwooowwww great flavor. great, almost nutty flavor. very sweet, would love this with something rich like cheese, or maybe even peanut butter. maybe wouldn't eat a whole one on my own but it's great 8.5/10
Johnny: Branding/Lore: 8/10, Visuals 4/10, Smell 8.5/10, Skin 6/10, Flavour 9/10, Crispness 5/10, Juiciness 7/10, Most vegetal smell. Skin peels poorly but is is quite crunchy, juicy. Total 47.5/70.

Paula Red Apple:

Arielle: this is insane. This is like a savory, extremely soft apple. It’s like a cheese in an apple form. Holy shit lol. The skin is unremarkable (but comes off easily) but the flesh? It’s like almost salty. 10/10 for the uniqueness alone, seriously in its own league. (important note: this is the end of the paula red season so it’s likely we got a softer version, not at its typical peak)
Jack: Terrible texture and mid taste. 4/10
Sammy: Nuh uh. The profile is good flavor wise it even has a hint of the fall air. But the texture is SO NASTY. More evocative of rotting fruit than fresh. Like 4/10
Owen: super soft, almost hard to eat. not a big fan. skin detach easily, hard to eat. sweet in the wrong ways imo. color was great, skin amazing. 6/10
Johnny: Branding/Lore: 5/10, Visuals 8/10, Smell 9/10, Skin 5/10, Flavour 4/10, Crispness 2/10, Juiciness 4/10, Clean lines - red outside, clear white inside. Skin comes off quite nicely but tart aftertaste. Total 37/70.

Apple Ratings (Quebec Edition)

michael and i spent the afternoon at the farmers market grabbing every variety of apple we could see. here are our ratings!

Honeycrisp Apple:

Arielle: to me, this is what an apple should encompass. perfect crisp, in-your-face zero-to-hundred sweetness but has a tang, and a good amount of juice that makes it pleasantly nice on the first bite but a bit dry on all of the following. beautiful colour and great sizing for on-the-go and it makes sense that this is one of the most popular apple varieties out there. 8/10, this will also be my benchmark going forward for an 8/10.
Michael: excellent bitter+sugary punch at the beginning. good texture, nice and crispy and a bit on the drier side. after taste did not last too long. 8/10.

Sunrise Apple:

Arielle: extremely soft and delicate flesh, feels a bit “pulpy” in that it melts in your mouth but it’s a wonderful sweetness - way more than the honeycrip. the skin is a bit chewy but the inside is beautiful. almost similar to a great bosch pear! slow burn. 9/10
Michael: consistent, sweet taste (not as sweet as honeycrisp at the beginning and less of a punch). texture is more similar to a pear, less crispy. would like a bit more of an mmph. 7/10.

Cortland Apple:

Arielle: the inside is a STARK white. this is a really unique apple - there is crunch to it, but it feels like a lubed, heavy activation keyboard switch if that makes sense? the texture is quite fun in that sense. the sweetness is very mild, like an afterthought. for the texture but the flavour is not there for me imo, 7/10
Michael: this mf is sturdy af, less of a punch, average sweet and sour taste. the skin is thicker and more bitter as well, takes longer to digest. but it balances out with the fact that it has less powerful of a flavour. 7/10.

Gala Apple:

Arielle: i LOVE the flavour of gala apples. this is what apple juice should taste like. it’s a true full bodied sweetness that nothing can compare to. the texture is very comparable to honeycrisp but a bit harder. great apple. 9.5/10
Michael: looks like an iconic stereotypical apple. tastes like the apple slices you get at mcdonalds. not much sourness. just sweet. 6/10.

“Yellow” Apple (Likely Golden Delicious):

Arielle: i wish i knew what kind of yellow apple this was. there is not a lot of flavour in this apple although there is good texture, also similar to honeycrips and galas. i think this fell short bc there is not a lot of depth, period. 5/10
Michael: pretty average tbh, no kick and average crispiness. not much else to say tbh. 5/10.

Lobo Apple:

Arielle: exterior is stunning - looks like a mexican mango. the flavour is so unique to this - it tastes like a korean pear which is one of my favourite fruits. i could totes see this being sooo good in a bulgogi sauce/marinade lol. texture is softer, more comparable to sunrise but still leans on the crunchier side. the skin is a bit hard to get through. 9/10
Michael: this mf got that pear texture too, but with harder skin. it is actually quite sour and does not have a sweet flavour afterwards, kind of just goes into the taste of the skin. got too excited for this one. 6/10.

Russet Apple:

Arielle: do not let looks deceive you. this is most definitely an apple. the texture is truly a cross between a raw potato and a raw apple (though i think this is in my head). there is a tartness to this apple that is followed with its mellow skin, which tastes kinda like how a fresh (not rotting) potato smells. good but i wouldn’t go out of my way to eat this. fun fact: russetting is the process of a yellowing outside. 5/10
Michael: potato apple. sour af, i like the taste of the skin a lot, kind of a unique bitter taste. texture is quite hard but not that crispy, i like the feeling of the skin on my tongue. 8/10.

Macintosh Apple:

Arielle: the skin is incredibly smooth - beautiful exterior with wonderful gradients. the flavour does fall a bit short, it also has its own unique sweetness but its mellow, it’s not stand-out in your face but it’s there, and it is also distinct. it’s a beautiful, subtle ode to what a wisp of an apple can be. texture is softer than honeycrisp but leans crispy still. 7.5/10
Michael: pretty normal tasting apple, a bit on the sour side and pretty average texture and skin. pretty light too. solid product, would recommend for a friend. 7/10.

Empire Apple:

Arielle: the apple flavour is quite subtle but it’s almost like a young wine - not standoutty but the notes are most definitely there. not as sweet as the honeycrisp but the texture is comparable. 8/10
Michael: that's a goodass apple. great sour+sweet kick at the beginning and gradually becomes weaker in the mouth. the sourness does sustain for a while though, which is nice. 8/10.

Spartan Apple:

Arielle: im not sure if my tastebuds are numb now but it’s hard for me to taste the “apple” in this. not SUPER sweet - it tastes like a watered down honeycrisp while being a little less crispier which can be nice for some. average af. 7.5/10
Michael: solid apple, more uniform taste and moderate crispiness and texture. a bit sour and sweet but not very distinctive in either sense. expected a bit more pizazz from the name. 7/10.

Apple Ratings (New York Edition)

Rodburry Russet Apple

Arielle: this is way better than the other russet. Sour and crunchy and the skin is ignorable. i still don’t really like sour apples but this was tolerable. 7/10
Sammy: sour forward, grassy, savoury, could be juicier. It would be really good if it was juicier. 6/10
Johnny: much harder, crunchiness and hardness are not correlated, this is hard but not crunchy so the points are down, sour apple type, would eat it as a pie than a trail apple, but the skin is a bit bitter and it comes off nicely, not too juicy, needs water bc it kinda leaves my mouth dry, would eat it again though. 6-6.5/10

Zestar Apple

Arielle: Soft, great texture - ideal for me. Mellow sweetness, great skin bc it almost dissolves in the texture. If I had to describe the sweetness it would be like a faintly toasted marshmallow. 8/10
Sammy: softer but good crisp bc of the skin, pallets is particular about, deeper sweetness. Kinda styrofoam 7/10
Johnny: texture is ok, 6,5/10, mealy but still has a crunch - soft enough to bite through but it’s not meally, low meally high soft, smell is great 8.5/10, good trail apple, can bite into it and its juicy but it’s not dripping, a bit sour, and the skin is a bit bitter but great apple. overall 6.5-7/10

Apple Ratings (Southern Ontario Edition)

Note: from Ambrosia to Wellington Woods, these Apple Reviews were conducted under the influence. Michael probably much more than Arielle.

Ambrosia Apple:

Arielle: extremely crispy and sweet, the skin is really nice texture and the sweetness is like an Asian cake where you say “this is not too sweet” but it’s actually really sweet. Aka this is a perfectly pleasant sweetness but it’s IN YOUR FACE. Great apple. 9/10
Michael: what a refreshing burst back into life. cold, sharp, sugary, and yet so warm and tasty and yummy. very unique flavour. skin is light and easy, with even texture throughout the bites. this apple is a very warm happy apple! 8/10

Fuji Apple:

Arielle: this is such a mellow sweetness, like young apple cider! blink and you’ll miss it! But perfectly juicy and the texture is absolutely phenomenal!!! Crispy but the mealiness is still there but disappears in an instant! The texture tots would eat this up… 8/10
Michael: tropical and exotic, but not in the hot sexy way…. plain on flavour, no kick to it, and pretty average skin. kind of tastes like a water-filled honey crisp tbh! 4/10

Sweet-tango Apple

Arielle: sour!!!! What the hell!!!!! It’s so juicy too!!!! sour and juicy!!!!!! I don’t like this taste LOL wow maybe my least favorite apple I’ve had on this magical journey so far. 3/10 on flavour but the texture is good enough for a 4/10… crispy and hard but I don’t even like hard apples! I like them meally!!! Way too hard and it would hurt to eat this. This is an apple with no feeling. This is a shallow apple. Yeah this is a hard 3/10 for me.
Michael: ohhhhh how i love to tango… the distinct sharp sour hits like a fine blade on the tongue…. that continues to slash at you with every bite, delivering unrelenting flavour shots of crisp and sour sugary punches each time. this is so good. 8/10

Mini/Dwarf Crabapple:

Arielle: I take back what I said about having a worst apple. This is the worst apple. It is bitter and gross and the texture feels like vomit in my mouth. Raymond came into the dining room and was like, “you guys are insane for reviewing apples. They all taste the same. they’re just apples.” then he had this apple. And he goes, “Oh. Yeah. Never mind. This is a bad apple. That is terrible. These are Crabapples? You know what I used to call these? Badapples.” I found a dime on the sidewalk yesterday and this paid for this apple and if it wasn’t for the fact that this apple was negligibly free, I would be pissed at its existence in this world. 1/10 for still being edible.
Michael: the way she looked into my eyes… so full of hope and joy… bright and twinkling…. soon became a look of horror and realization as she took another bite and looked away in disgust, never to recover. pure… crumbling…. dust…… 3/10

Michael’s Backyard Apple (likely a variation of a crabapple and cortland/paula. Super white inside, very dark red skin)

Arielle: it’s pleasantly sweet! The texture is not as great as I’d like (it’s soft but I feel like it’s trying to be crisp) and there’s a bit of a sweet n sour afternote. I would never go out of my way to buy this but if I had these growing in my backyard I wouldn’t be unhappy at all! 6.5/10
Michael: a sour burst. could not eat too many of these at once but i think it’s more proper to just enjoy one or a few at a time. my mom is right, there is a delightful sweet ending to a bit of a chaotic and average/normal apple. 6/10

Wellington Woods Apple that Michael grabbed in the middle of our night walk. Likely a crabapple cross with some sort of Granny Smith - the skin is green but the apple is small in size.

Arielle: It’s sour and tart and the aesthetics are terrible but it’s still an apple. It reminds me very strongly of another fruit that I can’t remember but it must be a nascent relative to a creamy fruit. Kinda like the notes of a durian… but in the taste and texture profile of an apple. This is crispy, but still quite meally. anyway this was not that great for me LOL 4/10
Michael: pure nostalgia. down to the bitter taste of the skin just perpetually existing in your mouth. sour, bitter, unpleasing, uneasy. it tastes like a hard working apple. i truly feel like a man eating and genuinely enjoying these apples. “as i was eating it, i felt something bigger. i felt a movement behind this apple" would not recommend for the average apple enjoyer and my rating is most likely biased/unpopular. you will probably not like it. 7/10

Cosmic Crisp Apple

Arielle: so crispy and juicy. out of this world!!! the name lives up!! not the in your face sweetness but just an overall great apple to cronch on. michael said that this apple had a WAP. i ate this while playing against my first real competitor at toronto ptcg regionals. what a flex! 9/10
Michael: that shit was wet af, yummy yummy but a little bit too sweet for me! quite balanced and crisp. would enjoy occasionally. 7/10

Pink Lady Apple

Arielle: really crisp and distinctly sweet! it’s not as juicy as the cosmic crisp but it has way more of a sweet/syruppy flavour that got pretty overwhelming fast. it’s good but I don’t think I’d typically reach for this! 7.5/10
Michael: quite tarty iirc. i would need to taste the lady again to form any strong opinions on the taste. she also oxidized quite quickly. i think i would like something a bit sweeter, but texture and skin were all quite balanced. 6.5/10

Apple Ratings (Vegas and Late Fall Ontario Edition)

I got the first 3 apples listed below from a Vegas TJs which is pretty based. The latter are late Ontario harvests from St. John’s Farmers market. Michael will never be sick of me. We have so many apples to eat together!

Sugar Bee Apple

Arielle: Fck this is a really good apple. The sweetness is almost like honey. The crunch is off the charts. The skin is not chewy. The juicy is plentiful but not overwhelming. This might actually be my new favorite apple. 10/10 easily.
Michael: this apple must be served cold. crisp, juicy, but not diluted like the fiji. great apple! not sour at all, a more sour skin would slap. 7/10

Envy Apple

Arielle: a more mellow, deeper, richer sweetness than most. Mealier than the sugar bee. The juice seems to come out sporadically and the skin is chewier. The crunch is still there but it’s not as prominent than the sugar bee. Still overall a good apple though. Just a bit forgettable. 7/10
Michael: a richer texture than the sugar bee, with perfectly balanced sweet and sourness. a great apple for any occasion! not sure i envy it though, it doesn’t particularly stand out in any aspect. reminds me of a balance type beyblade. 7/10

Rave Apple

Arielle: Much tarter, almost sour kind of sweetness to this!! It smells strongly of fresh apple juice turning into a fermenty cider but it’s quite refreshing. The juice lingers and leaves behind a texture in your mouth similar to dry wines. Really good crunch! But not my fave apple for sure. 6.5/10
Michael: looks so fresh and the colour is so bright!!! a great apple for sour TT lovers. it doesn’t deliver much else other than the sour kick though and i can see myself getting sick of this apple halfway through eating it. 6/10

Ida Apple

Michael’s Dad: the skin is too thick
Arielle: Great sweetness and sour balance. Tart! and colour, but the texture leaves something to be desired. It’s crunchy but still a bit meally, the skin is WAY too thick. Like very chewy. It feels like it leaves a bit of a tang on my tongue. almost like a sparkling apple. I liked it besides the skin. 7/10
Michael: hard skin that lacks much flavour, leaning on the sour side with a touch of sweetness. hardy texture. pretty solid apple. 7/10

Late Fall Jona Gold (again)

Arielle: I remember liking this a lot before but now that I’m having it again, it’s just not that great. It’s not as mealy as the ida but the texture is kinda forgettable and not exciting or fun. It’s refreshing though! 7/10
Michael: nice touch of honey with each bite, with a light skin that almost goes unnoticed. a little too sweet for me; i’d like a slight sour kick on the skin or flesh. 7/10

Mutsu Apple

Arielle: great texture and full of a refreshing juice. The flavour is extremely mild. It’s like drinking the liquid of an apple that was submerged in cold ice water for a year except it didn’t ferment. It’s just so crisp and refreshing! But I def need more flavour than this… but texture wise and juice wise this is an A tier apple. 7.5/10
Michael: wow that’s ass. tastes so diluted and the texture is cheap. almost tastes like a pear. would feed this to a baby because it’s so soft. 4/10
Raymond: this is better than the two before this. Note: Rachel and Raymond disagree with Michael hardcore on his terrible take here

Local Sweet Honeycrisp (again)

Arielle: yeah. This is a crispy apple. But where the hell is the flavour??? I’m really surprised that this has no apple flabour. It kinda tastes like the smell of apple leaves LOL. Maybe we just got a bad one. 5/10
Michael: damn this is a mid HC. not sour, not that sweet. it’s missing the apple essence. 5/10

Yellow Delicious

Arielle: I did not like this. Texture is terrible. It kinda feels doughy? The flavour is kinda mid too. It’s not anything distinct. It feels deeper than the regular apple but it just really falls flat after. The skin is also just really chewy. Did not like this compared to other apples. 4/10
Michael: texture is hard. not sour. not sweet. similar to the local HC but less sweet and much less crispy. 4.5/10
Raymond and Rachel: pretty good.

Ontario Spy Apple

Arielle: Very easy to bite through but not as crispy as the other. Very juicy. Good full bodied flavour and the skin is easy to eat through. I think it’s a bit too soft/meally for texture tots and the flavour is also not anything to write home about but still pretty decent. 6.5/10
Michael: very soft. the texture is unsatisfying, but the sweetness really shines. this would be great for a pie or sauce. on its own, it’s just an average apple. 6/10.

Apple Ratings (Late Fall Boston Edition)

Opal Apple:

Arielle: Interesting bite! It’s a bit softer than I would’ve expected and the sweetness is very well rounded, the skin is pretty thick and hard to get through. Not especially juicy either and the juice fizzles out really fast. It’s just extremely mid and I wouldn’t get it again. 5.5/10
Michael: quite a hardy texture. very honey taste. i like the skin, not very sour. i agree with raymond tho mainly just kinda mid, there’s not much excitement in this apple. also tastes a bit pear-y 6/10
Raymond: it’s mid
Rachel: the skin is weird and it’s sour.

Evercrisp Apple

Arielle: the inside is green which was super interesting, and the outside looks like a unripe Mexican mango. Extremely juicy but the sweetness is just not there for me. It’s like biting into water that maybe had a whisper of an apple in it, like a brief kiss on the head and then they took a shower and you then smelled the persons hand. The texture is really good but the skin might be a bit too thick for me. Wouldn’t get it again but it’s aesthetically beautiful. 6/10
Michael: this tastes like a pear!!!! i can see why it’s called an evercrisp. not too watered down, would recommend for TTs but the flavour is lacking a PUNCH. more sour or sugary would be nice. 6/10
Raymond: I can tell why it’s called the ever crisp.
Michaels dad: apples taste better when they’re sliced and you share them with other people. True!!

Lady Apple:

Arielle: yeah this sucks. It’s not as bad as the crabapple but it’s still sour and soft and I don’t understand why anyone would eat these besides baking them in something, and even then it’s not the best apple to use for baking. It’s better than other apples of its size but damn it still sucks as an apple. 3.5/10
Michael: i’ve tasted better ladies-this kind of texture is just not as satisfying. flavour is on point though; sour start with a sweet ending. would taste good frozen probably. 5.5/10

Lucy Rose Apple:

Arielle: it’s really sweet and the inside is red which is super interesting. love the flavor of this although the texture leaves something to be desired - it’s mealy and kinda melts away in my mouth. The skin is really soft and chewy which is a big L but the flavor is better than the apples before. It’s still something I wouldn’t go out of my way for but the appeal of an interesting colour is always something that impresses people. 5.5/10
Michael: i like the taste, not the texture. the texture is too soft, almost like it’s starting to go bad, but it has a nice sweetness with a sour touch. unfortunately not worth the $$. 6/10

Apple Ratings (Late Fall Quebec Dinner Party Edition)

Honeycrisp was used as the baseline at 7.5/10.

Honeycrisp:

Arielle: still the same as always, not an outstanding honey crisp but it definitely encompassed honey crisp qualities so i think it is sufficient as today’s baseline. 7.5/10
Hana: good mouth feel, tart, sweet, 7.5/10
Morgan: Sweet, canonical apple. Nice texture. 7.5/10
Alison: mid honey crisp imo. 7.5/10
Adam: Honey, white grape. Medium-hard, slightly mealy, firm skin. 7.5/10
Shen: crisp the way i like it kind of tangy fun bite to it super nostalgic n inoffensive. 7.5/10
Colleen: crisp, mildly sweet, dry. 7.5/10
Anson: tart. pretty colours. not grainy. the perfect texture. the platonic ideal of an apple. perfect for a summer day but you can’t always have it. 7.5/10

Gala

Arielle: this was pretty bad ngl. Crisp but it was not flavourful, it was like eating water that someone has tried apple bobbing in. skin was chewy and hard to get through. This was not a good representation of what galas could be, like an apple cousin that was inbred far too badly to be perfect. 5/10
Hana: bland but good aftertaste? faintly sweet 5.5/10
Morgan: Muted compared to honey crisp, less sweet, similar texture. Disappointed. 6/10
Alison: not quite mealy but not that crispy for me. not as tarte as honey crisp. kinda juicy in a tasteless way. leaves weird dry aftertaste i think bc the skin is a bit strange. 5/10
Adam:Soft, Slightly floral, green, Skin is a little tougher than honey crisp 6/10
Shen: honeycrisp but italic. 5/10
Colleen: sweeter, crisp, skin snaps. 8.5/10
Anson: less sweet and punchy, more round, a little waxy? 8/10

Mcintosh

Arielle: a lot softer, a very distinct flavour bomb! syrupy kind of apple flavour where it lingers a lot longer in your mouth more than you’d like. When you host a party but there that one dude who can’t get a hint to leave even though he’s the only one left because he kinda wants to get with you but you have clearly showed you did not want him there. a good local mcintosh but very sticky - the texture tots would not like this but I don’t mind it at all! 6.5/10
Hana: mealy and bland bad aftertaste watery 4/10
Morgan: Hits stronger initially than Honey crisp, but falls off quick. Not as sweet either. 7/10
Alison: literally middest apple ive ever eaten. why is it soft like that. it’s not even like mealy or powdery i just hate it so much. 3/10
Adam:Very soft and mealy Chewy skin Tart, astringent (chalky tannins) 5/10
Shen: visually kind of unappealing to me. annoying to sink teeth into. more skin than apple. 5.5/10
Colleen: mealy, tough skin, slightly sour. 4/10
Anson: feels like ur filling up space with apple but apple taste is not there. mealy. what you get in a lunch box and eat to fulfill ur requirements for fruits per day. 6/10

Granny Smith

Arielle: I have been avoiding this for so long because I don’t like sour apples. This is a sour apple. Soft texture and chewy skin. This is just not what apples should be imo. I don’t get why we use sour apples in baking when we can just add lemon juice with sweet apples. I actually do get it but I just don’t want to give my money to Big Granny Smith. 4/10
Hana: bitter af weird against teeth 2.5/10
Morgan: Sour, feels like you’re at a candy shop, the cashier isn’t looking so you sneak a bite. 8.5/10
Alison: i dont like the texture of this one. this is not a particularly tarte granny smith. kinda mid for a granny smith but i like them generally. 5/10
Adam:Sour, Tough skin. 5/10
Shen: like the idea of them more than the taste of them. lame chew 6/10
Colleen: tough skin, sour, powdery. 2/10
Anson: like eating a potato. or a sour turnip. man was not meant to consume this alone. 3/10

Apple Ratings (Boston Winter Storage CNY Edition):

chinese new year with new and old friends, with a baldwin apple sighting (my jaw dropped! i’ve been looking for this bad boy everywhere.) as always, honeycrisp as the baseline at 7.5

Honeycrisp Apple:

Arielle: delicious and sweet. I can only rate a honey crisp so many times. This is a great honey crisp tho with bursts of juicy flavour, definitely one of the better ones I’ve had!! 7.5/10
Tiffany: Always offers me a wonderful crunch, the perfect marriage of sour and sweet juice. Texture is perfect, not too powdery or too mealy or grainy. Skin is great, very attached but not too waxy. 7.5/10
Jacky: a good OG love. Less crispy than I remembered. 7.5/10
Byron: crisp, sweet but not too sweet. 7.5/10
Michael: zesty. Crunch 7.5
Anna: texture is decent - flavour is pretty plain, tart - skin is a bit bitter. 7.5/10

Gala Apple:

Arielle: Muted in flavour, texture is a bit softer than typical galas. I don’t like this one as much as other galas I’ve had. I’ve also had too many galas. Skin is chewy. 5/10
Tiffany: WHERES THE FLAVOUR BABE???? It’s like the Apple juice is a fugitive and running away from me. She’s too demure. Texture is whatever, no snap or crunch. 3/10
Jacky: aste better it’s sweeter like the apple cider almost ⁃ But less crunchy which I feel like I like crunchy ones more ⁃ But it’s not that distinctive like will I remember her?? Maybe not ⁃ I do appreciate the sweetness tho ⁃ I’m almost yearning for the crispness of the honey crisp. 7/10
Byron: less crisp, sweeter, less flavor. 6.5/10
Michael: imbalance of texture. 6
Anna: texture is worse than the honey crisp : less crisp than honey crisp (duh) - flavour slightly sweeter. 6/10

Baldwin Apple:

Arielle: extremely mealy flesh with a thick skin. The book “ an illustrated catalog of american fruits and nuts “ described this as the “Concord grape” of apples and I think it’s similar! The skin is chewy but dissolves quickly. The flesh is full of juice that is not too sweet, but almost lacks a bit of flavour, but it’s rounded and well thought out. I think the mealiness doesn’t do this apple any great flavours, but it’s subtle and doesn’t linger. If someone liked mealiness for a short wisp of time - this is the Apple ID recommend. Overall, not too spectacular but mayhaps I just set my expectations too high. 6.5/10
Tiffany: It feels like I’m eating a sweet delicacy from a bakery. The texture is nothing any other Apple could ever reach, it is soft and pillowy, it comforts my tongue with a nice hug. it feels like milk bread!!! the skin is also soft and does not fight the bite and is easy to eat. The juice is perfect, the apple is sweet and gives a nice appley twang (?) I wish this was accessible to me everyday for the rest of my life. 9/10
Jacky: it’s not crispy at all ): like biting into something u we’re forced to eat ⁃ The flavor is good tho I def can see why this is good for cider ⁃ I would not put another one of these in my mouth though, only in liquid form does the preserve the good ness and integrity of the taste while getting rid of the useless texture ⁃ Going back to honey crisp truly put this to shame. 5/10
Byron: soft, stores well is good, less sweet, tastes more like apple sauce. 6/10
Michael: floury. Texture sucks. 4 flavor does not hit
Anna: - flavour is sweet, more undernotes or something that i can’t exactly describe. flowery? more interesting than the previous two. mealy texture deducts some points. i like to be able to snap an apple piece cleanly. 8/10

Suncrisp Apple:

Arielle: This is a bright profile of an apple! I’m not even biased by its name. It’s just a burst of really tart flavour the moment you pop it in your mouth. It’s reminiscent of a pear but with an iconic apple tartness. A wonderful apple to go into a pie. The texture is like a medium firm cheese and the yellow skin is easy to break through. Definitely one of the best tart profile flavours I’ve had from an apple. 7/10 for its uniqueness and standoutness in its category. 10/10 in the tartness category.
Tiffany: I truly thought nothing could top the Baldwin but now I’m here. This is the offspring of a granny-smith and Baldwin and she is perfect. It is just enough sour and just enough sweet, essentially sour candy. 10/10
Jacky: I don’t mind the tart flavor actually ⁃ But I hate how not crispy it is ⁃ I want to taste spring but here I’m tasting the summer to fall transition and that’s not what I want ⁃ It reminds me a bit of a sweet tart tho ⁃ Taste like young possey (minus the minor members). 5.5/10
Byron: very similar to above, little less sweet. 6/10
Michael: spice flavor does hit. Still don't like the floury texture though. 6.5
Anna: i was expecting crisper gIVEN THE NAME! it’s too mealy. i like the tart flavour though, a nice mix of tart and sweet. 6.5/10

Goldrush Apple:

Arielle: this apple kinda sucks. The Yellow delicious apple family has always been pretty mid and this is no exception. The texture isn’t there, the flavour is mild - it’s not sweet but it’s trying so hard to be. It’s like a son that wants to impress his mid father and still doesn’t make it there. A lineage of mediocrity that falls into obsolescence. The flavour is still a prominent note but it falls short on the tongue. I’ve had better apples. 4/10
Tiffany: So whatever, this is a suncrisp wannabe. It’s as if she was given the suncrisp recipe — has potential — but she accidentally ripped it and had to fill in the ingredients of the recipe with random things. The juice taste is off, too sour and not sweet enough, but the texture is similar to suncrisp. 6/10
Jacky: They gave something mediocre a great name ⁃ not good ⁃ Skin so tough it could teeth ⁃ It’s weird to feel the dichotomy between the tough skin and soft skin. 4.5/10
Byron: similar again, little more sour, they’re starting to taste the same…. 6/10
Michael: a bit flavorless. Not sweet enough. Texture is alright tho 7
Anna: skin is really tasty. - apple itself isn’t super. meh texture too mealy. similar to suncrisp but i like that one better. 5.5/10

Apple Ratings (Boston Local Winter, All Repeats but with More People Edition):

What better way to spend my first weekend living in Massachusetts than hosting 15 people in a room to eat apples with me? “I can taste apples that are more red” was my quote of the day - incredible! 8/10 was the baseline for honey crisp today. Many other reviews that never made it to my inbox. An apple slice for those fallen soldiers.

Honeycrisp Apple:

Arielle: Juicy, really crisp. probably one of the best I’ve had lately 8/10
Taryn: ~ side note ~ honey crisp was actually one of my least favorite of the tasting LOL so that made most of my reviews very high. 8/10
Tiffany: Apple texture was FIRE as in SNAPPY AS in straight to the point as in concise, unlike me. I love how crunchy it is and how clean the bite is! Taste is good, but it’s a little too sour for me. I’m definitely a sweet tooth girly. Skin was unnoticeable which is optimal for me. No smell. It’s like she uses deodorant. 8/10
John: 8/10
Chloe: after revisiting from tasking other apple, there’s a very subtle taste of chemicals so idk if it’s wax. 8/10
Kevin: has a airy, sweet taste 8

Evercrisp Apple:

Arielle: it is like the colour of pine. It’s giving cool and forest today. 8.5/10
Tiffany: Imposter. This is literally a pear. Strongly disliked the taste however the texture is snappy and crisp and I like that. The juice does taste like airplane apple juice though, which I do like, but initial taste is a no no. 3/10
John: Flavor doesn’t last in your mouth, texture a bit mushy, but still good. 4/10
Chloe: more sweet and juicy, a little airy almost. 9/10
Kevin: tastes pear-like, not apple-like 7

Fuji Apple:

Arielle: soft, a bit too meally. taste like an apple you find cut up in an elementary school cafeteria 4/10
Taryn: I am biased because I love a sweet and soft apple, and Fuji is my favorite readily available apple that suites this. I definitely can eat them quickly because of how soft it is. 9/10
Tiffany: solid overall Apple, but a little too soft on the texture but the taste is good. But she doesnr measure up in terms of sweetness. I keep searching for the sweetness to hit but it never does. Just like how I keep searching for men in boston but they all fall short, literally. 5/10
John: Wet and soggy, indicating towards good flavor but not landing. 5/10
Chloe: has more of a standard apply juice taste 8/10
Kevin: sweet but dry 9

Granny Smith Apple:

Arielle: usually hate Granny Smiths but this is definitely the best one I’ve ever had. It’s sour but in a subtle way, great texture. Usually it’s really hard to bite, but this is so bussin. 7/10
Taryn: A very tart and flavorful apple! I love it for when I’m in the mood for a tart apple — if I want sweet I don’t eat these. But I love the crispness of it. 9/10
Tiffany: MY WORLD IS CHANGED‼️‼️‼️ SOUR IS SO REFRESHING BUT THEN THE SWEETNESS HITS ITS EVERYTHING A GIRL COULD WANT IN AN APPLE!! THIS IS THE REAL DEAL THIS IS A SOUR CANDY IN THE HEALTHIEST FORM. 9/10
John: Sour and yummy, wish it was a bit more crunchy but hits the spot. 9/10
Chloe: too tart. i emotionally recoiled a little 3/10
Kevin: very tart has tough skin, surprisingly juicy 6

Braeburn Apple:

Arielle: Meally and not super flavourful. It’s almost like savoury… for why… bad bad bad bad bad!!!! 3/10
Taryn: Very similar to Fuji but with a subtler flavor — but pretty much same as Fuji except with less flavor. I would prefer this over the honey crisp. 8/10
Tiffany: never had this apple before and I will be hunting for her now. Texture is softer than I usually go for but it’s comfortable like cheese and easy to bite into like a hug. Sweetness is perfect, tartness is like a solid dap. Everything is perfect. 9/10
John: Texture so bad and mushy, hated it. Flavor doesn’t remotely compensate. 2/10
Chloe: a little tart, more mild, above average but not stellar, and reminds me of myself in highschool 6/10
Kevin: forgettable, very mildly flavored, 7

Ambrosia Apple:

Arielle: it’s bland and the texture isn’t great today 5/10
Taryn: Similar to Braeburn but more watery / glassy like the honey crisp. Has a bit of an unpleasant aftertaste. I don’t like the softness on this apple for some reason , maybe because it’s less sweet. 5/10
Tiffany: mid. But unique woody taste. I’m looking for sweetness!! Where is she????? Texture is limp. 5/10
John: NO FLAVOR WTF. Texture ok. Had a weird hard spot that made me cringe. 3/10
Chloe: taste is toned down all around but at least it’s not tart 7/10
Kevin: mild flavor, slightly mealy 5

Pink lady Apple:

Arielle: sour and sweet balance, a good skin and a great smell. syruppy aftertaste. 6.5/10
Taryn: Tough flesh and tougher skin but very sweet. I love this one. 9/10
Tiffany: TOO SOUR. Sour mean old lady. 4/10
John: LOVE this apple. Crunchy texture works for me and flavor is THICK with smiling undertones. 9/10
Chloe: too tart. i don’t like tart 4/10
Kevin: sour and strongly flavored 4

Gala Apple:

Arielle: Juicy, but kinda feels like I’m licking an apple tree bark. 5/10
Taryn: Sweet, I can taste the red on this one (it tastes almost like a red delicious) with the perfect level of crispiness while still being soft. Flavor on first bite is same as aftertaste. definitely my favorite. 10/10
Tiffany: no. It’s like tasting diluted apple juice with 1ppm of apple in the liquid. Where is the flavour???????? 4/10
John: Satisfying texture but something about it is holding back. RELEASE YOUR FULL MAGIC plz. 6/10
Chloe: has a simple sweetness all around. well rounded 7/10
Kevin: sweet, tough skin 8

Apple Rating (A Singular Huge Vancouver Fortune Edition):

I spent $7.50 CAD on an apple the size of my head. It came in an engraved wooden box.

HUGE Fortune apple:

Arielle: Sweet, pleasantly juicy - more watery than syrupy but it’s plentiful. Skin is a bit chewy but it’s ignorable. Crisp albeit slightly mealy. Flavor is subtle and wonderful, almost flowery. Breathing out makes you smell pure apple juice. It’s not always about size but this apple has it both! 8.5/10
Morgan: not as sweet as honey crisp imo but size does have a positive impact on the overall apple eating experience. nice texture, came in a nice box. 7/10
Shen: don’t know if i’m just mega hungry or i have fallen victim to Big Apple but this is hitting the spot right now. like a korean pear. 8/10

Apple Ratings (Michael Loves Me, Ontario Winter Edition)

I’m not a material gorlie at all, but when Michael buys me new apples and pints of local apple cider… this is a love language!

Crimson Crisp

Arielle: A little sour, a little bounce yet still crisp. Not the greatest texture but it’ll do and there is no after-mealiness, it dissipates into sour juices. Beautiful colour with red sinking into the flesh, but a skin that’s hard to get through. It’s like an introverted apple. It takes a bit to get to know them but once you do, it is wonderful and buds into a beautiful friendship. One of the better sour apples I’ve had! Mayhaps one of the top! The guy who sold it to me at the Guelph Saturday farmers market gave it to me for free because I was so excited to see a new apple & buy apple cider. A warm memory on a warm winter day. 8/10
Michael: would have liked more of a crunch to it. while it is crispy on the outside, the inside does taste a little old and mealy. the flavour doesn’t get me all the way there, it’s bland and lacks any significant sweetness or sourness to make it unique. tastes like a wild apple lol. 6/10

Pazazz apple

Arielle: Great smell and the red leaks into the flesh! This is what all the other red inside apples wanted to be. This is the It-girl red fleshed Apple. Great crunch with not a hint of mealiness. So juicy and sweet. Very syrupy like nectar with that distinct apple juice after mouth feel. Skin is thin and a beautiful sheen. This is the best way to start a new year. Fantastic apple. Dare I say 10/10?
Michael: crisp, sweet, with a ton of juice inside. the skin is surprisingly easy to chew and has a nice texture to it. not very sour but quite satisfied despite. 8.5/10

Apple Boston February HAUL edition:

Honeycrisp Apple:

Arielle: 6/10 for today. This is a really sweet honeycrisp, but it’s old so not as crispy as usual.
Michael: 6/10.
John: Kinda flimsy, wish it was firmer. Still yummy. 5/10
Noemma: initial burst of flavor, but soon gives way to a watered down version of the flavor. Crispy and crunchy and juicy. 6/10

Ruby Frost Apple:

Arielle: this has to be a red delicious child. Extremely crispy and the juice is watery, but the flavour is not there. I actually cut this apple using a knife I cut green onions with and I can taste the green onion on it. That’s how bland this juice is, even though I can feel it and it’s a great texture. Overall a 6.5/10 apple for the flavour but I do really appreciate the crunch this gives.
Michael: crispy and sharp, really loving the sour introduction, which breaks down quickly into a nice balance of sour and sweet (could be a little sweeter though imo). tastes like a winter apple. 7/10
John: This apple makes me feel held in its flavor. Loved. Home in the universe. Crunchy and yummy. Unique. 9/10
Noemma: Tarter flavor, drier apple overall, with a great crunch. Holds its structure throughout the chew. Skin holds a lot of sweetness in it. 8/10

Snapdragon Apple:

Arielle: Oh. Very reminiscent of a good full, gala apple. Great crunchy texture and a syrupy sweetness that screams apple. I really enjoy this - it’s a warm hug of an apple flavour. This is the apple next door that you grow up with. You kind of have a crush on them but it never happens because you realize you only like them because they shaped you to love them - you had no choice because of proximity. But you think to yourself at night - what could life have been if we met elsewhere? The skin is a bit too thick to my liking. 8/10
Michael: a pleasant sweetness that sustains throughout the bites, the skin perfectly suits the sweet flavour by offering a very slight bitterness. not the prettiest apple on the inside. 7.5/10
John: Flavor is strong but a little bit unoriginal. Crisp, a solid apple. 8/10
Noemma: candy-like flavor, very juicy with an extremely flavorful inside and a not flavorful skin (inside flavor makes up for flavorless skin). Crisp and bright with a slight tartness but strong sweetness. YUM. 9.5/10

Lady Alice Apple:

Arielle: woah. What an interesting flavour profile. It tastes like spring, like flowers first bloom, like the nectar that bees cover themselves in. The texture is really wonderful too and the skin is thin but leaves room to chew once or twice. I really, really like this apple as a fresh replacement to the syrupy lab-apples we’ve been seeing a lot. Incredible and refreshing. 9.5/10. Maybe a 10.
Michael: i’m not a big fan of the flavour. it’s sweet but doesn’t have any sharpness in its flavour. kind of tastes like melted sugar. it’s something i would feed to a baby. 5/10
John: Aggressively sweet. Points for trying / being creative. 6/10
Noemma: tastes very much like dried apples… concentrated floral notes. More muted fthan the brightness of the snapdragon. Medium crispness, but full flavor. 9/10

Nikita Apple:

Arielle: this is a full bodied apple. A hint of sourness at its opening and mellows into a sweet aftertaste. The juice is sticky and the scent lingers in my nose upon the first bite. It’s just a wonderful apple for sour-sweet enjoyers - not tart. Sour. Very good for its category and rare to see it so well executed. 8/10
Michael: similar to the ruby frost but less distinct with better balance of sweet and sourness. texture is light yet also dense and crispy, which i like. skin is a bit too bitter imo but still a good apple. 7/10
John: Like if honey crisp did a bunch of self work, went to the gym, reflected on its life priorities, picked up a sense of humor. 7/10
Noemma:not super flavorful, but medium tart/sweet. Not a very sharp crunch. Not super juicy either. Slightly more flavor/exciting burst of tartness than the honeycrisp though, so I’ll give it a slightly higher score. 7/10

Juici Apple:

Arielle: this shit meali as hell and flavour bland as accounting majors. Bad Apple. Looks ok from the outside but secretly it’s a crab apple descendant. Who do you think you are? You don’t live up to your name. Bad bad bad. 2.5/10
Michael: tastes old. reminds me of the apples my parents would cut for us in the mornings, and we would struggle to finish every time. this apple needs to be eaten right after being cut, or its structure and flavour will quickly deteriorate (as it has) 5/10
John: Mealy, terrible, get this shit out of my mouth. 2/10
Noemma: So freakin mealy. Not a fan. Flavor is super middle of the road, generic “apple” flavor. Super not exciting at all. Would not grab a second slice. Maybe would be good for applesauce. 5/10

Arkansas Black Apple:

Arielle: it tastes like. Cheese? And the texture is. Waxy? Mealy? Salty?!?? Decadent?? Terrible?!? Great???? Fermenting????? This isn’t an apple anymore. This is uncharted territory. It’s like the jackfruit of apples I think. It’s soft. It’s hard. It’s everything. It’s just an apple. It’s not an apple. I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m giving this a 3/10.
Michael: this managed to be worse than the juici, it’s feels dry when your tongue first touches it, and each bite afterwards doesn’t provide any relief. no sourness, no sweetness, just dull mealy-ness. maybe i’m being a bit too harsh it’s just mediocre in all aspects 4.5/10
John: Omg negative flavor points. Tastes rotten. That was gross. Texture bad too. 1/10
Noemma: Really strange flavor… almost slightly metallic? If it were a season, the flavor would be late fall or if it were a color it would be smoky gray. Texture was slightly mealy. Not super juicy and not tart at all. Would not pair it with cheese or anything. Tbh wouldn’t buy again unless I wanted an apple with a strange x-factor that I can’t put my finger on. 5/10

Lucy Glow Apple:

Arielle: what the hell? This tastes like a BERRY???????? This is a strawberry in an apple. A pineapple. And the inside is a STARK BEAUTIFUL PINK/RED. I am in shock. I am absolutely in awe. The texture is mealy and leaves something to be desired - terrible texture. But holy shit. What an incredible feat to get this flavour in an apple form. I’m not even being biased by the colour and the price. This is just a miraculous feat of apple genetics that cannot be ignored. 10/10
Michael: great flavor, but wish the texture was better. it is a beautiful apple though and tastes significantly better then you look at it after each bite. it might even not be an apple 6.5/10
John: Worst apple I’ve ever had. No flavor and fell apart in my mouth. Hints of pineapple. 0/10
Noemma: WHY IS IT SO MEALY. Beautiful color but WOW that texture killed me. Flavor was very close to pineapple. 4.5/10 because of texture