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26032024 - i am going to be fun again

since moving to somerville, massachusetts i have fallen into my own trap of being a reclusive grandma. gone are the days of bixing home drunk after writing for hours at a montreal wine bar, or painting murals of smash characters on the UBC engineering rock, or going to concerts and jumping like i will never live another day. instead, the cat brought in banana bread nights that end at 10pm (i have a bedtime guys), watching housewife videos on my stationary bike, and getting my ID rejected at cambridge bars for being canadian. i’m 22 by the way.

the other night, i said to michael, “i hope this concert has seating.” what is wrong with me?

i look forward to saturdays so i can get $0.50 strawberries at haymarket, and for the free wine tasting at ball square every friday so i can log it in my silly little apple notes. i haven’t written anything in months beyond grocery lists and tasks to finish for work. i haven’t finished any TV shows but i’ve halfheartedly started 10. i read murakami but only on the train to and from the airport. arielle!!!! 8-month-ago you would be fuming!!!! but also she is happy that you have found comfort in the mundane, and at your ever-growing knowledge on silicate weathering. but mostly, she’s fuming!!!!!!! grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

i keep pushing aside blame to the nature of my situation. i live in somerville, massachusetts. i do not and did not go to school in boston. all my friends are students and i am here working my (awesome) 8-6. at the end of the day all i want to do is workout and lie in bed. how has an entire quarter year passed by already!

in reality, there is nobody but myself to fault. i got a little too cozy and fell into natalism, wife training, and time quickly vortexed into thinking about productivity hours instead of the whimsiness of doing things for the sake of feeling free. i got caught up with the responsibilities of being a human on earth whose sole intrinsic purpose is to make outsized impact, that i forgot what i was fighting so hard for to begin with.

oh, the joys of being silly!!

my funemployment era, fleeting now, was an arielle who was the epitome of little-things-in-life-maxxing. she had the luxury to do so because of infinite time and (finite, but still somewhat plentiful) resources. today’s arielle has much less time and energy but that dawg is still in her. woof woof arf bork!!!!!!

today, i stumbled on a quirky house at MIT with people who throw dinners every night. later in the afternoon, i found an open-jam dance session that happens at central square every tuesday. then i discovered a concert hall that has shows every. single. day. it’s crazy how much fun exists when you mindfully seek it.

somerville, massachusetts does not have to be the place where whimsy arielle perishes. as spring makes its appearance around the corner (winter did not exist in boston in 2024), next week’s arielle will not be in bed by 8:30pm. she will be reaching out to new people, dancing with her limited moves that are all some variation of arm waving and/or doing the luddy terribly, and mayhap she will be cooking a good meal for a weird group of people.

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